The Fear Never Goes Away

By Tamara Montes de Oca

No child should live in fear of a knock on the door. 

Recently, a neighbor's knock on my door sent my heart racing. For as long as I can remember, a knock on the door has triggered panic. It accelerates my thoughts into a spiral, and has me calculating the fastest escape route, just in case. As a child, a knock on the door could mean being taken away and separated from my mom and brother. 

Growing up undocumented, a knock on the door carried immense weight—I could see it in the terror on my mother’s face whenever someone knocked (a fear she has to this day, even though she no longer has a reason to be afraid because she has obtained a legal status). She always warned us to never open the door or speak about our status, not even to our closest friends or teachers. That was her way of helping us survive. I understand now. 

At nine years old, I experienced a panic attack when my mother was pulled over during a routine traffic stop. I was afraid of the police. My chest tightened, and I struggled to breathe as I translated for her, telling the officer it was my mistake—I had given her the wrong directions. We were let off with a warning, but as soon as we drove off, I broke down sobbing. I feared the worst: the police discovering us and taking her away. 

This fear rooted itself deeply within me, shaping how I see the world, how I move through it and how I hide from it.

Even now after twenty four years living in this country and with temporary legal status (DACA), the fear of ICE lingers. Trauma like this doesn’t simply fade. It’s a wound hard to heal from. I live with PTSD symptoms to this day, scanning my surroundings for potential threats and always trying to be ‘prepared’. The anxiety never goes away. 

I remind myself I am no longer in survival mode and deserve to be free from the fear that kept me hidden in so many ways. Now, I feel it's my responsibility to speak louder than I ever have. No family or child should have to live in this kind of fear or bear the lasting scars it leaves behind.

I believe community and knowledge will be our greatest strength these next couple of years. We are not alone in our struggles. Knowing our rights can make all the difference. Let’s get informed. Let’s organize. Let's speak up. We need to fight for a future where no families and children live in fear of a knock on the door. 

Juntos Jamas Vamos a Ser Vencidos. Together we will never be defeated. 

Ways to Resist and Organize with the Children in Your Life:

Distribute Red Cards:

• Print and share Immigrant Legal Resource Center (ILRC) Red Cards in your community in your neighborhood, local stores and if possible your school.   

Build Relationships:

• Get to know your neighbors, your children’s classmates and foster connections. A united community is a stronger one.

Express Through Art:

• Create and share radical art whatever that might mean to you (write, paint, sing) to raise awareness, inspire action, and amplify the voices of those impacted. 

 Foster Empathy Through Storytelling:

• Share stories of resilience and courage from your own life or from the community to help children understand the importance of supporting others. You can also use books to tell the story of someone else for example this list curated by Social Justice Books. 

Raise Awareness:

• Spread the word about available resources, rights, and ways to support those facing immigration challenges. Social media can be a powerful platform to share information. 

 Make a family preparedness plan:  

• Every family should have a Family Preparedness Plan. While we hope you never need to use it, having a plan in place can help reduce the stress of unexpected situations. The ILRC provides a comprehensive Family Preparedness Plan to guide you through the process.

Additional Resources for Supporting Immigrant Communities and Kids

• Know Your Rights from the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) “Regardless of your immigration status, you have guaranteed rights under the Constitution. Learn more here about your rights as an immigrant, and how to express them.” This resource from the ACLU covers many scenarios across ICE encounters such as in schools, homes and work places and is available in 17 languages.
• 10 Strategies for How Schools Should Respond to Help Children Impacted by ICE Raids | Bilingual infographic When U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) conducts raids in a community, students are deeply affected. Even the threat of a raid or news of one in another part of the country can have painful lasting effects. To help educators serving students affected by ICE raids, see the strategies outlined by the IDRA (The Intercultural Development Research Association).
• National Immigration Law Center To learn more about key issues impacting immigrant communities, explore the National Immigration Law Center Resource Library for expert-curated guides, toolkits, policy briefs, and more.
• The Immigrant Defense Project offers tools, guides, and information to help communities protect their rights, navigate legal systems, and fight back against criminalization.
• Volunteer at the Young Center for Immigrant Children’s Rights The Young Center is dedicated to protecting the rights and well-being of unaccompanied immigrant children. By volunteering, you can help advocate for the best interests of these children as they navigate complex legal and social systems.

Whether at home, in the workplace, or at school, knowing your rights and taking proactive steps can make a profound difference. Together, we can stand in solidarity and advocate for the dignity, safety, and well-being of all individuals, regardless of immigration status.